LET’S face it. A lot of women have a complicated relationship with their private parts. We think they’re smelly and that they look ugly. When it comes to sex and penetration, we often want it to be small and tight, and wonder if it is too big. When we judge it to be too big, it starts influencing how we feel about that important part of our body and relate to it with shame, complaining that it can’t hold him in, that it slips and slides and that it is, if not already, the cause of all our sexual frustrations.
Worrying about size is understandable, after all ‘am I too big or too small’ is one of the frequently asked questions about our sex organs. But we’re not just secretly wondering if we are too big down there. We are taking steps that confirm that we think we are big and big is not sexually attractive – at least if the popularity to vaginoplasty (an operation to tighten the vagina) is anything to by. Vaginoplasty is the collective name of cosmetic vagina procedures that include the reconstruction, rejuvenation and tightening of the vagina. Another point to consider is the popularity of muthi that claims to tighten a so-called loose vagina.
There is a long standing perception that if your vagina is loose, then you are a busy body who has slept with a lot of men. But this is not the case. A vagina can become big for various reasons. Chief among them is child birth. When giving birth the vagina stretches to allow the baby to come out. This can lead to the tearing of the skin between the vagina and the anus. According to Dr Suzy Elneil, a consultant in urogynaecology, “The vagina can feel loose, softer and more ‘open’. It may also look and feel bruised or swollen. This is normal, and the swelling and openness should start to reduce a few days after your baby is born.” If you are worried about it being loose, try doing pelvic exercises. They can be done any where, and while you are standing or sitting.
HOW TO DO IT■ Squeeze and draw in your anus at the same time, and close up and draw your vagina upwards.
■ Start quickly, tightening and realising the muscles immediately.
■ Change pace and go slow while holding the contractions for 10 seconds. It’s recommend that you repeat the exercise 10 times for up to four or six times daily.
Another reason for the vagina to feel loose or big is that when it is aroused, it becomes lubricated to allow penetration. Like men, blood flows to our sex organs when we are aroused. But unlike men, women get wet instead of getting hard, and get wetter during sex. If you are worried about your private part being loose: Do it with the man on top. The aim is to get him to lift himself up once he is inside you, you close your legs so you thighs squeeze his manhood.